Frisky Friday

Truth be told, this has been a stressful week. A week of worrying about what to write for this blog, what to write about for my advanced reporting class, and what to write for my research paper on adoption law. Amidst all this stress, my mind, for no reasonable explanation at all, has been fixated on one thing: sex.

Yes, I have to admit that I may be shamelessly engaging in sexual acts with my boyfriend as a means of escapism (and stress relief), but I also admit that it led me to some very interesting things.
Namely, it has led me to ponder attraction, sexiness, the act itself and how feminism has perhaps changed my ideas regarding sex and sexuality. Usually I wouldn't just out and admit that I've had sex on the brain, but in relation to feminism it is too good a topic to let fall to the wayside.

As a result of things, I ended up Googling the words "sexy" and "feminist"...and lo and behold Google answered my prayers by returning the result of sexyfeminist.com, a "no-guilt guide to being a modern feminist."

A lot of people don't exactly think "sexy" when they hear the word "feminist." Usually they think the opposite. But honestly, who wouldn't find these traits sexy? :
intelligence, confindence, passion, curiosity, being outspoken? As a young, modern feminist, I find that more and more aspects of the movement focus on how feminism doesn't necessarily mean sexing yourself down.

In feminist circles, sex is a tricky topic...well, it's a tricky topic in general.
On the one hand, there are feminists who see sex as a power play--a struggle between dominance and submission in which the female is most often put in the submissive role. On the other hand, there are feminists who embrace the sexual freedoms we are granted today, which are fairly new to us women. It really wasn't until the 60s-70s (the 2nd wave) that women began to fight for their right to enjoy sex and to want pleasure for themselves, rather than just dishing it out to the men. Both these types of feminists own their sexuality (whether they be straight or gay) by learning about their bodies and what they want and how they get pleasure.

Is one better than the other? Not at all. And many people fall in between these two schools of thought.

So, my point ladies, is that with feminism you can express your sexual nature as freely as you wish, or you can be as carful with it as you wish. I find that I exercise both at various times: If a guy seems to be bossing me around, wanting "x" done to him, it usually results in me turning "x" down--i'm not a plaything or your sex-robot. However, feminism usually makes me feel sexy and confident, and that makes it all the more fun. Even better is that, when I do have sex, I know it's because me and my boyfriend are mutually engaging in the "deed" together.

Sex should be fun and uplifting, and I am a huge advocate for sex education playing a big role in this. A major aspect of sex, love and attraction is being educated about these things, and I for one have a serious debt to pay to Planned Parenthood for all the wonderful services and help they provide. I was so happy to learn today that the U.S. Senate voted not to cut federal funding to Planned Parenthood. Ah, sweet victory.

It was at sexyfeminist.com that I found the following video, which I found particularly appropriate with this win in the Senate.



Along those lines, I have got to urge everyone to check out bedsider.org. It is still in it's beta version, but this site is chalk full of not only birth control help/info (text alerts for when to take your next pill? Genius), but it also has "Frisky Fridays"--which I pay homage to in the title of this blog entry. It's a column akin to the feminist version of cosmo how-to's; but, these how-to's teach girls more about how to love themselves in addition to loving another.

So there it is. I have sex. What I've found with feminism is that I not only have sex, I enjoy it far more.